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Bobby D. aka hater of rain-fros

5 May

Meh. Who invited this schmuck to the party? I mean really! What self-respecting clown has a rainbow-afro? And dyes his mustache to match? This is worse than a pair of slacks with pleats. Seriously, ladies, pants with pleats are a big DON’T! As in DO NOT! Do you hear me? I’m talking to you!

This guy is a disgrace to the clown race! And I know clowns! You’d be amazed at how many 4 year olds are booking the Bozos for their birthdays these days. I might call the clown police and get this guy arrested for indecent exposure. As in, you Clown are exposing me to your bad fashion sense! And that is indecent! To me!

Next thing you know this guy’s going to break out the horn. Honk! Honk! Laugh monkey’s laugh! Hey Clown, let’s get honest for a moment. Your horn is annoying. And kids don’t like laughing on cue. Especially when you’re honking that horn in our face! Hear me now, or hear me never, the horn has got to go! Speaking of go, maybe it’s time for you to leave. As in go away. There’s nothing I’d like to hear more than these 10 words: The clown and his creepy rain-fro have left the building!

For god’s sakes someone get me out of here before I get spotted sitting on this guy’s lap. I have a reputation to uphold here people. I’m a small man about town. There are playgrounds to go to, toddlers with fruit roll-ups to see. Not to mention there’s a 5 year old standing over there by the juice boxes who is giving me the eye. Oh, it’s on you little vixen! Come to baby!

I turn 4 next month. And let me be the first to tell you Rain-fro, you will not be there. I already got my mom to hire this great little jazz ensemble called Kiss My Jazz. Now that’s some classy entertainment. Can someone get me my mommy? This clown’s got a grip. And he’s not letting go.

Seriously. Help! MOMMY!!!!

-As told to You Don’t Know Me by Bobby D, age 4, Houston, Texas

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